I spent Sunday with my lovely baby niece (5 years old) and nephew (6 years old). They are like best friends and love to play together, but often I would hear my baby niece cry, scream and yell intermittently. When I heard her crying for help on the floor again, I couldn’t resist my curiosity and went to ask what’s going on. She claimed that her brother refused to help her picking up her dolls from the floor for her. I realized she was having princess syndrome. So I told her both of them are equally special in our family. You need to respect your brother. You could ask for help, but he is not obligate to help. If he helps you, you appreciate. If he doesn’t want to help, it is alright. You either ask someone else for help or do it yourself. She said she didn’t have enough hands to pick up all dolls herself. Well, then you slow down and make several trips to take all dolls back to the storage. In life, you would be rejected by many people, but it is alright to be rejected because people have their rights to do so. You need to learn to respect others’ choice. It didn’t mean your brother didn’t love you. Also it is not right to boss your loved one around just because they love you. It is time to learn it now. After my explanation, she got up and gave me a smile and a hug. I was shocked and wondered if she really understood.
Now my baby nephew couldn’t hold back what he had to say any more. He looked so troubled and disturbed. He told me that his sister always asked him to do this and that. He found it annoying to be bossed around by her. If he doesn’t do as she asked, she got upset. All adults at home think he must have done something wrong to her. He doesn’t know what to do with her now.
Does this sound familiar? This sounds like the complains I sometimes hear from adult couples. It is hard to believe men and women start their behavior/thinking patterns since such young age. So I told him he doesn’t have to do what she asks him to do. It is alright to reject her or others if you don’t think it is right. Although it is your responsibility as a man to look after your sister, your future girl-friend or wife, and protect them. The little boy also smiled and gave me a hug.
I puzzled, and not sure if I did the right thing. I shared my thoughts to them as how I would tell adults or myself. But I don’t know if these two babies truly understood me, and I’m also afraid of miss-leading them. Over the years, I learned it is alright to reject others and to be rejected by others. Being rejected is never a great feeling. But being adults, we learn and understand people have to do what’s the best for their highest good. Often in life, people say no to us. It is not necessary they don’t love us or not care for us. Just like my little nephew, he is actually a very lovely and sweet boy. He always tries to look after others including adults at the house. I know he loves his sister dearly as well. But he also has the moments when he doesn’t want to do what she asks. I guess we often forget the mutual respect with others especially with our loved ones. Sometimes in life, it is important to take a step back, and see from others’ perspective. That way we eliminate dramas in life and have happier relationship with others and with ourselves.
Serene Living with Divine Love 